Golden Rose / Jack’s

Jack’s is supposedly a restaurant.

I say supposedly because most people go to Jack’s to get s&*tfaced drinking Scorpion Bowls. A Scorpion Bowl is a deadly concoction of juice and a multitude of unidentifiable alcohols. For the sake of fast consumption, a Scorpion Bowl tastes nothing like booze, and it comes with long straws to prove that it’s an innocent fruit drink. A Scorpion Bowl screams, “Drink me! Drink me fast, before your friends do!” The record for a single person drinking a Bowl without later vomiting is 4 minutes by an unidentified Canadian.

Enjoy your bowl, because each table is now limited to one. And order before midnight, because you can’t get one later.

Why should you drink a Scorpion Bowl? Because if you do so on Friday or Saturday, you’ll end up singing karaoke and drinking.

You can also go to Jack’s to eat food, and if you’d like to avoid the drunken crowds in the bar, there’s a restaurant next door. The food is cheap and comes in huge portions, and the meal ends with the requisite fortune cookie. The quality of the food at Jack’s? Well, you can let everyone else know by posting a review below.

Jacks is located at 108 2nd Street in Hood River. It’s open 365 days a year, 366 if it’s a leap year.